Another day came and went. But then only reason I know this because the doctor said so. After I woke up. Again.
It’s all I can do to sleep.
Sometimes, I wake up. People ask me questions. I don’t know who those people are. None of them are familiar to me. I wait for a familiar face, but I don’t know who to expect. Where are the people I know?
They ask me:
“Do you know who you are?”
“Do you know where you are?”
“Can you tell me the date?”
I can’t answer their questions, but I find comfort in their voices. The sounds are new and fascinating. They float around the room, swarm around me, and cling tightly to my shoulders. A warm blanket.
When it’s quiet and no one else is around, I try to remember my dreams. But I can’t. It seems that even in my dreams I have been banished into dark forests far from everyone. I can’t even humor myself anymore.
But things are strange among dreams. I’m realizing more and more that it’s not just recently either. I try to remember what I’ve dreamt about long ago, since dreams lately are hard to understand. But nothing comes to me. There is only void. And not even the kind of black abyss that most people imagine is void. People imagine that those who are blind see only black and that they are always shut in the darkness. I’ve seen this blindness that others can’t imagine. And I can only describe it as void.